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To read the eulogy I wrote for him- please see 'Memorial Tributes' section of this site. I wrote this after he died and just posted it online on his birthday May 12th.
In the memory of Gary Boshart who was born May 12, 1944 and passed away on January 8, 2008 at the VA Medical Center in Dayton, OH after a lengthy illness and courageous battle- surviving and recovering from many illnesses. He lived since 1970 with war trauma and 'ptsd' related mental illness. In June 2007 he was inflicted with blindness, a heart massive attack followed in September 2007, resulting in a coma, and subsequent kidney disease. With no medical interventions he was able live for months, to see again, regained his ability to walk without assistance, was not in need of any pain medications, and was alert until the day he died (even requesting a haircut and fresh shave the day before his death) He was considered the miracle of the Dayton VA, his survival for so many months is medically unexplainable, his recent medical records and autopsy results will used for research in Washington DC with the hope that it will help others with similar illnesses.
Despite his illness he continued to be a loving, wise, and kind father, grandfather and friend all his days. (See our photo slide show below)He often spoke of how his 'long lost' daughter and her family showered him with love that kept his spirit strong during his illness with visits, care packages, phones calls, singing spirituals, and advocating and fighting for his veterans rights, health care and his 'right to life' and medical treatments to no avail.
Gary Boshart served in The United States Army Intelligence- ASA during the Vietnam War Era and supported our country during the Cold War years, working on top-secret missions, secrets which he took to his grave. His service to the USA followed in the footsteps of his ancestors who had served their country since the Civil War. Gary never forgot his 'fallen friends' who are soldiers from the Vietnam War and he prayed for all the young soldiers overseas in the Iraq War.
He was baptized when young into the Mennonite Church, which was the religion of his family heritage from Europe. While in high school he considered becoming a minister. He was tolerant and repectful of other people's religious beliefs and lived his life as Christian mostly reading the bible on his own, sharing scripture with his daughter, and attending various non-denominational church services at the VA.
He treasured his family and many friends, especially veteran friends from his younger years and new friends and volunteers from the Dayton VA. Especially his best friend, Vietnam Veteran Stanley Strykowski, who only knew Gary a short time, after having met at the VA in October, 2007. Stanley stood by Gary's side, advocated for him, and took care of him everyday in the last months. Stanley himself was fighting stage 4 cancer- yet that did not stop him from being a loyal and honorable friend putting aside his own pain to care for Gary. Stanley was a true 'soldier brother' until the end. It is with sadness we heard the news that Stanley passed away the day after Gary. We believe the Angels came to guide these honorable soldiers home together, where they will meet all their fallen brothers from the Vietnam War.
When Gary was a young boy he sang in his church choir. Throughout his life he continued to enjoy gospel music and church hymns. He played several instruments in his teen years- often with his father, Maurice who was his high school's band director and music teacher. He was fond of the music of the 50's and 60's and never ceased in enjoying music and 'rock and roll'. He loved Elvis and Johnny Cash -Gary passed away on Elvis's birthday.
Gary attended Piqua High School and Miami University in Ohio. After losing many high school friends in the Vietnam War and being moved by seeing so many young men come home in flag draped coffins, he enlisted in the US Army in 1965 to serve his country and stand beside all the other young men who were putting their lives on the line to defend the freedoms of our country. He trained at Fort Devens, MA.- Army Security Agency Training Center 1965-67, where he met Kristin's birth mother. Then continued training and missions at bases of the world.While in the Boston area he enjoyed visiting Boston Harbour, Cape Cod, and the Berkshires, and enjoyed taking a troop of Boy Scouts hiking to Mt Adams, which at it’s peak has a view of 4 states.His service prevented him from knowing his biological daughter, Kristin until 2004 when her ten year search to locate him finally brought them to a reunion.
When tested for the military intelligence and ASVAB test he was chosen for the Army Intelligence Branch of the Army-ASA. During his time in the US Army he attended flight school, had the chance to fly in brand 'new state of the art' birds with friends who were pilots, was a member of The US Army Wrestling Team and won several trophies, and he traveled the world. In later years he often reminisced of his travels, some favorite visits where to the world's majestic cathedrals, cities, ocean ports, star- filled desert skies and mountains of the world.
Although he traveled to many foreign lands he was especially fond of his numerous trips to the see the scenic beauty of America National Parks, having first visited many of them when he was young child with parents and siblings. He was also especially fond and had great memories of Cape Cod, the National Seashore and New England, as that is where he was living while training at Fort Devens, MA in 1965-66. Gary enjoyed nature and had great memories of building his own kayak when a teen and exploring many rivers in it. He wondered at natural beauty and could find a photographic moment in the most common of settings.
He played football at Piqua High School. He was a member of The US Army Wrestling Team and won several trophies. In later years he would often be wearing a Ohio State Buckeyes cap and he never missed watching Ohio State Football on television. He enjoyed watching local baseball and basketball teams and due to family connections in the Boston area he became a Boston Red Sox fan and enjoyed seeing them win the World Series.
His interests included: talking on his 'cell', his portable DVD player, trying his eye at video camera and photo equipment Kristin would bring on her visits. Enjoying Kristin's art, photography, videos, poetry,hearing about the latest internet and electronic technologies, and writing stories, songs, and poetry with her- with him speaking his parts and her writing it or taping it. He enjoyed keeping up with his grandson Kevin's sports, hobbies, and college courses and events of which he was most proud. He was always interested and supportive of Tim's music career and was most grateful for Tim's numerous music performances at the nursing home, the VA hospital, and the local nature park, most often requesting ukulele which brought him much healing and joy.
He was faithful to church, bible studies, veteran memorial events, and The Disabled American Veterans Org. He enjoyed discussing philosophy, history, politics, and world events over a cup of coffee or a can of pop. His hobbies included enjoying music and keeping up new musical artists, classic cars, watching sporting events, the outdoors: kayaking, and hiking. Above all he most treasured his time spent with his daughter, grandson, family, and many veteran friends.
He is survived by his devoted biological daughter Kristin(whom he was able to unite with just 4 years ago), Tim Mann, and his beloved grandson Kevin Murray all of MA. Mother: Annabelle (Eley) Boshart of Englewood OH, brother and sister-in-law: Scott and Rhonda Boshart of Englewood,OH. sisters and brother-in-law: Nancy and Chris Wyant of KS, Cindy Martin of Englewood, nieces, nephews, relatives and friends.
Gary Boshart served his country with honor and will be laid to rest in the Dayton OH National Cemetary on January 18th at 2:15 pm. He will rest in peace beside many fallen brave soldier 'brothers'. As he told me when he was in hospice “he had said his prayers, was waiting for church," and after “seeing” some of his long deceased soldier friends and calling them by name- as if meeting many long lost friends, he told me “the flight jackets are ready and there are blue skies with clear flying” and "I’m just waiting for contact ."
"The church bells are ringing and the children are singing,
as the angels come to take you gently home
to light, love and peace.
Fly on in clear skies to ‘happily ever after'
with peace and joy forevermore.
Remember I love you,
My father, my courageous hero, my guardian angel"
Kristin
Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
The Golden Rule
It was not until almost a year ago when he first showed signs of physical symptoms, that he really starting sharing his thoughts on spirituality, which before he had often shown me through action and how tried to live his life but never spoken of. But a few months ago, when his own father died he told me that his main principle is:
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12
Gary was not religious in a way that was pushy or noticeable at all, he read his bible faithfully, developed his beliefs and lived his life the best he could and tried to follow the Golden Rule which is inherent each of the world's religions, even when he was faced with great obstacles and suffering. Often helping fellow veterans who he said, "were worse off than him" or "having a hard time" He did not own many possessions and he would often give his most favorite 'comfort items', like CD's, blankets, or stuffed animals, to other people at the nursing home or VA hospital.
He was tolerant and respectful of all cultures and people's varied thoughts and beliefs. The thing he mentioned to me most often was the Golden Rule and the fact he also mentioned is that all religions have their versions of it...
Click here for the Golden Rule expressed in all religions
"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal." H.H. Dalai Lama
To read the eulogy written for him- Please see Memorial Tributes section of this site
Services:
His mother and family in Ohio is holding a graveside service at 2:00 p.m.on Friday, January 18 at the Dayton National Cemetery. They will be hopefully reading a eulogy I wrote
( they did not read it his service- so I will be posting it on this memorial site soon)
Click here for Gary W. Boshart obituary and services in Dayton Ohio.
Kristin will be having a Memorial Service in Massachusetts Spring 2008, including a church service, eulogy, military honors, and an evening memorial benefit 'rock and roll for vets" concert with all proceeds to non-profit veteran organizations.
*send an email to the host of this memorial site to be notified of the date of memorial services.
My father cared greatly about all veterans, soldiers who never make it home, and all the soldiers coming home to this failing system, not a single conversation went by that he did not express his concern for them. In his memory and to honor him (and in honor of all veterans and soldiers) I am asking for donations to help the IAVA do their work to help soldiers and veterans now. So that veterans will not have to endure suffering in a failed system like my bio- dad did all these years. Your donation can help IAVA continue their work to advocate for the proper respect and care for all veterans.
The care we give our soldiers with mental illness is appalling, most staff are not trained to take care of soldiers with war related trauma issues (ptsd or mental health issues) which is inexcusable and makes the veterans symptoms even worse. Suicide and homeless rates for veterans is skyrocketing( one in every 3 homeless you see is a US veteran) The waiting list for appointments at most VA Hospitals is pathetic. I have witnessed neglect, verbal total lack of respect to veterans, and men literally dying while waiting for care while caring for my ill veteran father at a VA.
Memorial contributions be made in his memory to
Iraq & Afghanistan Veterans For America (IAVA)
Click here to visit Gary Boshart's IAVA memorial donation page> www.change.org/myfundraising/inmemoryof
Donations will support the important work and political advocacy the IAVA do for veterans and Iraq and Afghanistan soldiers.
Please help support Iraq And Afghanistan Veterans of America by making a donation. It's fast, easy, and secure. Whatever you can afford will help the IAVA do their work.
If you cannot donate then consider others ways to support IAVA. From emailing congress to let them know you care about veterans rights to posting the IAVA banner on your website to hosting an AIVA House Party with DVD to raise awareness in your community there are many ways to help- click here to learn the many ways to take action IAVA website
Condolences
or memorial candle notes are most appreciated on this memorial site.
You may light a virtual candle and small note using the form on the
right sidebar or to leave a condolence message click on "memorial
tributes" at the top and bottom of this page.
Music on this site provided by Elvis Presley.
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Eulogy written Jan 2008 /
Kristin
(daughter)
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In Memory Of My Father
My father’s loving nature,
instincts, and strong spirit overcame any illness that would have prevented him
from being a loving father to me. Nor did suddenly becoming a father at the age
of 59 with no experience, effect his ability to be a wonderful father to me. He
always tried to protect me, guide me, encourage me, and loved unconditionally.
Even simple day to day things such as asking if my car should go into get a
check up to make sure I was driving in safe vehicle, to eat nourishing food-
(as I forget to eat sometimes), to giving me advice on what books to get for
his grandson, what courses he may want to take in college, and to lovingly
advise to always try to parent my son with gentle guidance and encouragement.
He suffered with war related mental illness since he was quite young and the
lack of human dignity and respect I saw my father be treated with is, opened my
eyes to the way America truly treats our veterans- behind closed doors. He
seemed much more sane than the people who were entrusted to care for him at the
VA hospital.
There are some many times he taught me by example how: to
look out for other’s less fortunate than ourselves, listen more- speak less,
complain less and appreciate more, try not to judge others, speak up when you
should and be quiet to observe and analyze at times, take care of yourself, dress
neatly, have pride in who you are, be giving, keep your faith- especially in the darkest hour, be grateful for the
simple but most precious things in life, notice the beauty of the earth all
around you, look at the sky, really see the sunsets, flowers, and look for more
stars, take less and share more, be cautious when it is called for and let all
your cares ‘go to the wind when the time is right’.
Seize the moment and pack it with
as much joy and wonder as you can, believe in miracles, look for and believe in
the magic of life but, most importantly he taught me “to believe that love really can conquer all” I know because my
father showed me this in so many way. He did his best to live by the Golden Rule and
encouraged others to do the same. He told me many things, when he was first dying months ago, at time
when he was so close to God he saw the gates of heaven and heard the children singing most beautiful songs, he had no fear about his dying, and gave me messages about God's love and the afterlife when he would wake up from semi- conscious states. I hope we can all take comfort in the fact that
love lives forever and even when we must part – we will someday meet again. As
this is what my father believed with faith and conviction.
There are countless examples of how
he taught me important lessons by example, by just being with him, or our quiet talks,
not ever by preaching, bible thumping, or criticizing- his approach was that of
a gentle steady guide, like a star. One of the stories that illustrates this is
when he gave a teddy bear I had given him to “a sick woman who was having a
hard time at the nursing home”, “ I hope you don’t mind” he would say, “she
could use it more than I”. His sister recently told me that over the years whenever she
would send him little gifts, she would later find out that he had “re-gifted”
to someone at the VA Hospital who he thought needed the item or to show support
to them if they were having a 'hard time'.
How often do we really get to see
these universal spiritual principles exhibited in our lives like this? If someone who suffered with
war related mental illness for over 35 years can live by the Golden Rule, then I wonder why we can’t we all also strive to live according to this principle a bit more.
He also expressed care about the
men at the VA even when he himself was fatally ill.
I saw his compassion and concern for his fellow veterans everyday, whether it was concern for our troops, fallen soldiers, or injured returning troops, and veterans at the hospital not a single day went by that he did not express his concern and send his prayers for these soldiers. While at the VA hospital, despite his condition he never thought of his own health, but showed care and support to every veteran he met. It is something that is hard to explain, a special look in an old soldier's eye when he is talking to other ill veterans. He was always worried about how the young soldiers who are coming home will be treated.
Some of my favorite stories
showing his strong and brave spirit was when he was left to die at hospice and
was struggling to survive-despite my pleas in court to grant him medical care. Even though he himself was dying he always showed
care and concern for his roommate a WW2 veteran, who could not get out of bed,
my father was always asking him how he was and if there was anything we could
do for him- checking in on him and looking out for him everyday.
Another
story was one day he had not woken up or opened his eyes all day, in the
evening I could not but help let a few tears come out and I was trying to be
very quiet about it - to my surprise he woke right up at that exact moment and
with wide open and caring eyes looked at me and said with the most genuine
concern I have ever heard, slow and with a commanding yet, caring voice “OH…….
Kristin……don’t cry hon” Waking up from your death bed to comfort your grieving
daughter is one story I had never heard of… his spirit was strong to be my
father and it shows the kind of man he was.
He continued to be a loving, wise, protective, caring and kind
father all his days. He was a guiding light in my life and will always be
living in the sparkle in my eye, in kind acts to others, when appreciating the
beauty of nature, in the stories that will be passed down of what a fine man he
was to his great grandchildren someday, or when I’m just being dad’s silly,
silly girl, or his “princess fairytale wonder’ full of imagination and
creativity adding love, color, and light to the world just as her dad would
want it to be. I will try to make him proud, despite my heartbreak at the
circumstances of his death.
One of the last fairytales we wrote
together ends in his words “… and peace and joy spread throughout the world
forevermore.” And so may we take a moment to pray for that peace and joy for my
dad, who was a fine soldier, a son, a brother, cousin, uncle, friend, a wise and
kind grandfather, and a cherished father….. and pray for those things in our
own lives, for each other, for the world and for soldiers and veterans, Peace
and joy forevermore. It may sound like a fairytale but it worked miracles for
us. My father served his country with honor and is now laid to
rest in a field beside other fallen brave soldier brothers. As he told me when
he was in hospice “he had said his prayers, was waiting for church, and after
“seeing” some of his long deceased soldier friends who had died in combat, he told me “the flight jackets are ready and
there are blue skies with clear flying” and I’m waiting. Then he told me, “he
was ready for anything so long as I am happy.”
He left me with much love and many memories, teachings, wisdom and things to reflect on. I know by seeing him live his life: we can all try harder to look out for one another, and to especially look out for those
who have no one looking out for them, appreciate each other more, be there to
wipe each others tears when times are hard, share stories and special moments
together, remember to take time to rest in hectic days, take more breaks from
working so hard with time for laughter, and time to notice the little joys in
life and to please “stop and smell the roses” and watch the sunsets over the
water, even if it is only the Sweetwater.
Thank you for my life, for being in
my life and teaching me so much.
Until we meet again, remember we
love you and we will miss you so,
You have touched many lives in your
life with your kindness and wisdom
and made a difference in this world that will live on.
May love be your guide and peace fill your spirit my loving father
Fly on to clear skies ‘of happily
ever after’
My dad, my hero, my
guardian angel,
the church bells are ringing and
the children are singing,
as the angels come to take you gently home to light, peace
and the eternal love of our Lord
Jesus Christ. Amen.
I now share what he said
is one of his favorite bible quotes
The Golden Rule
Therefore all things
whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this
is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12
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